40 word meme

I found this at Musings from the Sofa - which I do enjoy reading.

For some reason I just cannot blog at the moment. Lack of human contact and an overdose of daytime TV has turned my brain to porridge (and not the tasty Scottish type).

The rules are simple: one word answers to 40 questions.

Where is your cell phone? Handbag

Your significant other? Suffering

Your hair? Uncontrollable

Your mother? Over-protective

Your father? Bonkers

Your favourite time of day? Sunset

Your dream last night? Nightmare

Your favourite drink? Champagne

Your dream goal? Happiness

The room you’re in? Dusty

Your ex? Abroad

Your fear? Death

Where do you want to be in six years? Settled

What are you not? Content

Your favourite meal? Chicken

One of your wish list items? Botox!

The last thing you did? Lunch

Where you grew up? Lonely

What are you wearing? Shorts

Your TV is? Annoying

Your pets? Dead

Your computer? Slow

Your life? Confusing

Your mood? Dissatisfied

Missing someone? Yes

Your car? Hired

Something you’re not wearing? Shoes

Favourite store? Ryman’s

Your summer? Lengthy

Your favourite colour? Purple

When is the last time you laughed? Sunday

When is the last time you cried? Yesterday

Your health? Unpredictable

Your children? Twinkles

Your future? Uncertain

Your beliefs? Hopeful

Young or old? Old

Your image? Lacking

Your appearance? Unruly

Would you live your life over again knowing what you know? No

3BT - 23rd July

1. A bunch of sweet peas scenting the house.

2. The unexpected joy of a fantastic book.

3. A wonderful weekend away - seeing new friends and old.

3BT - 14th July

1. The beauty of delicate purple poppies standing tall in a vegetable patch - whatever happened to fields of poppies?

2. I spent the day with my goddaughter and three year old giggles lift your soul in every way.

3. The Beloved took me to a friend’s barbecue - the first time in years he has introduced me to new people which felt really good. I also surprised myself by not freezing and actually managing to strike up conversations with strangers - not being socially inept is a good thing.

Out of sorts

My body is not coping with the stress of not working. I haven’t been working for less than a week and it’s all gone a bit haywire.

I have two weak spots physically when it comes to stress: my stomach and ye olde insomnia. So I’m washing copious amounts of charcoal tablets down with lashings of peppermint tea (yes it tastes as good as it sounds!) but still feeling hugely nauseous. And the insomnia is the really annoying waking up at 5am type. Although the not being able to go to sleep at night type is grim you can pop some Valerian and give yourself a good talking to…but the early morning type doesn’t respond to herbs or drugs (well not unless you want to be a zombie for the rest of the day) so you have to talk yourself down, do visualisation, meditation or whatever - all of which is quite exhausting but rarely exhausting enough to get you back to sleep until about 15 minutes before you’re meant to get up - grrr.

Hmmm…what can you do? Oh well.

I’m also suffering from opportunity paralysis - there’s so much I could/should be doing but am I doing any of it? Er no. I have indeed been doing precisely what I didn’t want to be doing which is watching far too much daytime TV. I did manage to get my trainers on yesterday and today which is a good thing. I have also completed my tax return (and the taxman owes me cash - hurrah!). But I’m not really doing anything constructive.

So as a result I am quite cross with myself and that’s adding to the stress which is making my stomach poorly and my brain go mad resulting in insomnia - do you think I might be my own worst enemy?

A room of one’s own

I am currently being driven insane by an industrial cleaning van that has been parked outside the house. Goodness knows what it is industrially cleaning but the noise from the generator thing has got inside my head and is in danger of making me cry.

I am struggling with a place to get comfortable and do computer type work. We have a lot of space here but I can’t work out where to put myself. I think this is largely because I share the house with someone who tends to commandeer all available space with ’stuff’. This means he’s all set up in the living room with his laptop and surrounding bits of black plastic which I can’t quite identify but apparently need to be out. The spare room is his walk in wardrobe plus he has his own room (yes a whole room all to himself) which is jam-packed with DVDs, CDs, other computer type stuff…hmmm, I feel I may be getting a raw deal here.

So I end up on the sofa with my laptop on a cushion on my lap which is far from ideal. I think my task for the day is to go and see if I can identify a small spot I can set up so I can have my laptop and papers out at the same time and with the possibility of the comforting chattings of Phil and Fern in the background. Hmmm…

In the mean time, I must seek out more headache tablets and hope whatever is being industrially cleaned is soon up to the required standard because I will go mad.

3BT - 7th July

I keep promising myself I will do this but live an extraordinarily grumpy life so have decided to make it more of an ‘occasional’ feature - hopefully weekly. So here goes…

1. The smell of rain on hot pavements.

2. So many people wrote really kind things on my leaving card at work. I was only there a very short time but most of the messages were really personal and when I look at them I can believe I’m good at what I do.

3. The Beloved picks some bright, sunny flowers from the garden and puts them in a vase in the kitchen to brighten up my day. I remember he can be so kind and it makes the tough times we often go through seem a little bit more worth it.

The News

I am so ashamed. The dreadful murder of the French students makes me ashamed of how this country, this city is being reported as this hideous murder capital - and sadly we are. Every day this week someone has been stabbed in London. IT IS ENOUGH. Why are people carrying knives:

- they think that a knife will make them look good, will give them the respect they don’t get ANYWHERE else. We have let these kids down: as parents, as a society - I just don’t know. I have a 17 year old nephew and if there is an ‘incident’ in north London, I am scared.

- kids are scared - and I don’t fucking blame them. But we have to keep telling these kids that carrying a knife is NOT the answer. They are more likely to be killed, they are more likely to have a false sense of safety.

Let’s not kid ourselves. Boys have always carried knives. I remember my first year of college (or Lower VI as it was called  back then), at least two boys were seriously stabbed. I didn’t go to the local school because of a stabbing when I was four (about the same time ABBA were winning the Eurovision - see previous post for details) so ‘knife crime’ isn’t new amongst kids but it does seem to have got totally out of control.

I’m not scared for myself. I am an old woman to these children. If they want my mobile they can have it. I am terrified about our city. This wonderful place where I live.

The reason I started writing this post was about an entirely different new related matter. But it is the issue closest to my heart at the moment.

The thing that sent me to a rage (see post below about my ranting about the news) was the fact that the politicians of this country have not got a clue about what is going on. Oh mercy me, they have voted themselves a non-inflation busting pay rise (wouldn’t it be lovely if we could all vote ourselves our own pay rise?), but they’re rather keen on that John Lewis list aren’t they? Wouldn’t we all be? Do you enter the House of Commons and leave your morals at the door? I don’t think people become MPs for any reason other than they want to do good but the rarefied atmosphere of Westminster obviously distorts the brain cells. For heaven’s sake I found myself agreeing with Anne Widdecombe today - either I’m an aberration or the government has really let us down.

As I final ‘news’ note: I love Kylie.

A mere 5 out of 10 for starters

Yes, I was sucked into the hideous world that is Jeremy Kyle - what on earth is wrong with me?!

However, did do some cooking, skipping (bloody knackering - after about a minute and a half), cleaning and ticked some things on the list but honestly not the start I wanted.

By the way, I have no qualms - I LOVE ABBA. Showing my age, I remember my Thursday night treat was being allowed to stay up to watch Top of the Pops and I remember watching Waterloo when it was number one and they wore keyhole cut out lycra spangly things (I was exceedingly tiny honest) and I wanted to be as cool as them. I can’t wait to see Mamma Mia…