Monthly Archives: July 2006

Top tip girls

Just keep them hungry!!


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Filed under Life

No umbrella required

I have never seen so many people smiling because it rained. Big happy faces.

I was particularly pleased because it meant I didn’t have to water the garden although I did give the pear tree a little top up. The pear tree is my special garden project and I am determined that we will get fruit from it this year. Last year all the little pearlets dropped off which was very disappointing so this year I am watering it, talking to it, shooing away birds and squirrels, all in absolute determination that the Beloved will get to eat at least one pear from the garden (personally can’t stand the things!).

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Flip Flap Slap

I hate flip flop wearers. I don’t care that they are the most fashionable footwear you can sport this season, they belong on the beach.

Now don’t get me wrong, I own two perfectly lovely pairs of flip flops and they’re great for pottering around the garden or walking along the seashore. But they should not be worn in London, especially not on the tube.

For a start they are a health hazard as people have a habit of ‘leaving them behind’ as they walk. So the poor sod behind them (usually me), treads on them, nearly trips up, has to apologise etc. Then they make a stupid noise which is just irritating. Thirdly, men should NEVER EVER EVER wear flip flops. Their toes are too hairy, their feet are generally just to gnarly and – because men aren’t used to wearing stupid, impractical footwear on a daily basis – they can’t walk in them.

Finally, don’t flip flop wearers find their feet get filthy? Especially on the tube? It’s just not nice.

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Faggots become endangered

Apparently we’re all turning our back on faggots and junket. Can’t say I’m hugely surprised as I can’t see many people settling down to squirrel casserole (think of all the bones) instead of a nice Green Curry or a Lasagne.

I have eaten quite a few things on the list: jugged hare, brawn, pan haggerty, faggots, bread and dripping, Dorset dumplings, Lardy cake, Simnel cake and spotted dick and I have to say the only one I remember with great fondness was spotted dick. I think that’s mostly because it was one of the few edible foods served at my school.

Does it really matter that we’re not eating as much offal? I personally can’t stand the stuff but I do take the point that a lot of perfectly edible meat is being discarded as it’s not viable for abattoirs to devote the man hours to actually preparing cuts that used to be more popular.

I suspect it would be a brave soul that actually took on the task of trying to popularise tripe or brawn. As consumers we’ve become so disconnected from the food we eat that children don’t realise chips are made from potatoes and cows produce milk. We also choose not to think about meat. To many people, meat comes in plastic packets from the supermarket and although we know there used to be an animal involved, we prefer not to think about it. I’m sure that’s part of the reason that liver, kidney, tongue and so on just don’t feature in many families’ meal repertoire. That would be admitting that the animal you are eating has the same organs as you.

I am not a rampant veggie – far from it. I will eat almost anything with two or four legs. But meat and fish are precious commodoties and should not be sold cheaply. If you buy a six pack of chicken breasts for £2.99 then I hate to tell you but you are eating crap, supporting cruel farming practice and playing your part in unsustainable production methods which lead to disease. So perhaps we should rediscover some of these old dishes and use more of the animal, having said that I don’t think anyone could persuade me that calf’s foot jelly is a good idea.

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Filed under Matters domestic

What happened there?

My blog turned Spanish over the weekend – bizarre! Anyone with any information about my blog’s nationality please let me know. Or perhaps it was just getting excited because my holiday (to a Spanish speaking place) is now less than two weeks away.

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Menace to society

Apparently the latest rise in crime figures is down to us. This is because we will carry life-enhancing gadgets like ipods and mobiles.
Excuse me. The latest rise in crime figures is down to scum bags wanting to steal mobiles and ipods for whatever reason. If you pursue the theory that it’s our fault for putting temptation in the way of criminals then you’re going down the same route as saying girls in short skirts are asking to be raped.
I do not have a solution to social ills and there are myriad reasons why people steal – some of which we as a society should be addressing. But for the police, government and media (an unholy trinity if ever there was one) to blame us for wanting to carry our portable, life-enhancing gadgets is a total cop out and yet another step on the slippery slope of nanny-statedom. What will they propose? Limiting each of us to carrying no more than £50 worth of ‘stuff’ – well that’ll be half an empty handbag then.
I have apparently turned into Angry of SW12…the joy!

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Filed under Life, London

A tad warm

Why do the papers keep obsessing about how hot it is? It is the summer after all. And the comparisons to the Canaries and Greece are totally irrelevant because:

  1. If I was in those countries I’d be on holiday and the most strenuous thing I’d be doing is ordering a pretty cocktail at the pool or may be turning the page of a book.
  2. Those countries are used to ‘weather’ and are therefore geared up so that their transport infrastructure doesn’t collapse, people rest during the hottest hours and they don’t run around like headless chickens trying to get lots done.

I don’t understand our country’s inability to cope with ‘weather’, after all it’s been happening since before us humans were around. So the slightest deviation from grey, non-descript, mid-temperature weather conditions means that England grinds to a halt. And it is a mainly English phenomenon.

A couple of years ago, I was going to Glasgow to visit a friend and it was all really touch and go whether the plane could take off so I called my friend as the weather in Scotland had been much worse and I didn’t fancy spending my weekend stuck in snowdrifts and she laughed at me. It would appear Scotland has got snow down to a fine art. Considering we have some snow virtually every year, so should we. We should also be able to run trains without rails expanding; tubes without inhumane heat and humidity; and offices without the need for people to wear shirts, ties, jackets, tights, high heels or whatever else pathetic dress code companies dream up.

Rant over…

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Filed under Weather obsessive