1. I was born in deepest, darkest Hampshire and spent most of my childhood not wanting to live in the countryside.
2. I still believe the countryside has too many animals and not enough shops although I concede it can be nice to visit for a weekend.
3. I have lived in London since 1993 and can’t see myself ever really wanting to live anywhere else.
4. Four is my favourite number, I also like 12, 16 and 44.
5. I am a Sagittarius but don’t necessarily believe in astrology except when trying to prove a point to someone (ie when the advice is “be lovely to those closest to you”).
6. I have an English degree, this is largely because I thought having an excuse to read books for three years would be fun. It was.
7. I also have O levels, this is because I am old.
8. I work in PR. I’m quite good at my job. I quite enjoy it too – which is a bonus.
9. I have previously been: a shop assistant, waitress, bar person, receptionist, legal assistant, shelf-stacker, radio presenter, watercress picker.
10. I was rubbish behind the bar as I am far too short – I am much better the drinking side of it (more on that later).
11. I never had any particularly strange career aspirations although I would still like to be a writer when I grow up.
12. My family (ie those I am most closely blood related to) comprises my mum, my dad and my sister.
12a. My mum likes gardening and generally fussing in the way that mums do.
12b. My dad is slightly mad and is known by their neighbours as “Dangerous”, most of the time he lives up to his name.
12c. My sister has spent the last few years travelling the world on luxury yachts owned by very rich people. Part of her job involves buying lovely things for the yacht which is ideal for her as she has a fairly serious shopping habit.
13. My family (ie those I have blood ties with) has recently disintegrated thanks to death, greed and other joyful human conditions.
14. My family (ie those I married into) are jolly nice Portuguese people. I have a mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law (not quite so nice, in fact a pain in the bum), ex-sister-in-law (yes it’s getting complicated), two nephews and one on the way.
15. I’m married. He doesn’t like me blogging about him, so I won’t.
16. I have never had a one night stand, been successfully chatted up in a bar, been on a blind date, asked a boy out, been unfaithful.
17. I do however know people who have done all of the above.
18. I was in the Brownies and got 32 badges, my first was House Orderly which involved making a cup of tea and making a bed properly (ie blankets and sheets not a duvet) – weren’t the 70s quaint?
19. I was also in the Guides but my interest waned when I realised I’m not very keen on the Great Outdoors and it interfered with ‘being cool’ which is important when you are 14. Luckily we also moved so I used that as an excuse.
20. My only other real experiences of the Great Outdoors (ie camping in a tent) were at Glastonbury where music, alcohol and other substances made the whole experience much more bearable. I have subsequently camped with very small children. Top tip: take 10 year olds, they are v useful in the entertaining small people department.
21. I have never done class A drugs.
22. The first time I got drunk was when I was 18 following a post A level party at my English tutor’s house. I have never drunk Pimms since.
23. I try to avoid getting drunk now as the 24 hour hangovers are just too horrible.
24. Despite my small size, I have an amazing capacity for alcohol.
25. My favourite tipples are: vodka, Champagne (or indeed any dry sparkling wine) and a cold glass of rose in the summer.
26. My favourite foods are: chicken sandwiches, fish and chips, asparagus, a decent curry.
27. I have been drinking V8 since I was three years old. I’m sure it has to be more than one of my five a day.
28. I have/had a variety of interesting sounding/age inappropriate illnesses including gallstones (when I was 23), burning mouth syndrome, pernicious anaemia and – the latest – reflux which causes total voice loss.
29. I have been an insomniac since I was seven years old.
30. I have the ability to retain useless facts and information. This is very useful in pub quizzes and Trivial Pursuit, less useful elsewhere.
31. I also have a lot of 80s’ song lyrics clogging up my memory – can’t help but thinking this data could be replaced by more useful information.
32. I speak French (reasonably), German (badly) and Portuguese (understand and can read it fluently but speaking is a bit of a challenge). I also know a variety of semi-useful phrases in Arabic, Greek, Spanish, Italian, Japanese, Dutch, Swedish and Swahili.
33. I am qualified to teach English as a foreign language.
34. I was a Goth – thankfully there is little photographic evidence of this trend, although since originally writing this some has come to light on Facebook.
35. I was in a band (tambourine and backing vocals) – even more thankfully there is no photographic or audio evidence of this best forgotten period.
36. Thanks to a rather eclectic youth I can do the following things: play piano (badly), skate (reasonably), ballet (scarily well), tap dance (noisily), swim (like a girl now but used to be able to do butterfly which was always exciting).
37. Despite lessons/instruction I cannot do the following things: play tennis, knit, make pastry.
38. I sing joyfully but ever so slightly out of tune (so guessing not so joyful for those around me).
39. I enjoy cooking and most people seem to enjoy eating the results.
40. I think cooking lessons should be compulsory in school and there should be no excuses for children not knowing that cheese is made from milk, chips come from potatoes and chickens lay eggs etc
41. I have been to a slaughterhouse. It did not put me off eating meat.
42. I used to be a vegetarian.
43. I have green eyes but can’t see a thing without contacts/glasses.
44. I have no idea what my natural hair colour is – I’ve been dyeing it for 22 25
26 27 years (eek).
45. I have ridiculously little feet.
46. I have an unfeasibly short tongue.
47. I have a teddy bear which I was given the day I was born. She still goes everywhere with me (including on honeymoon) although she is now too old and decrepit to sleep in my bed. She now has her own teddy to look after. He likes to go on adventures which is very distressing as he often gets lost.
48. I love shoes and have far too many pairs of them.
49. The most expensive pair of shoes I bought are from Manolo Blahnik. I am not admitting to their real price.
50. Being an age that is a prime number makes me feel uncomfortable.
51. I am an armchair sports fan.
52. I am very unfit.
53. I support Southampton – it is a thankless task most of the time.
54. I am a member of a different football club but only so I can watch live matches. I will also give it up if Southampton ever come back up to the Premiership (fat chance).
55. Autumn is my favourite season.
56. I love my bed and my ideal job would be a duvet tester.
57. I used to be able to lie in for hours but this ability seems to be diminishing with age.
58. Ironing is my least favourite domestic chore.
59. In addition to clothes, I insist on ironing sheets, duvets, napkins, tea towels. I draw the line at ironing pants.
60. Dusting is my favourite domestic chore – hence the featherduster.
61. I am scared of birds and mice.
62. Bats are my idea of hell. Apparently some have recently moved into my parents’ loft so I won’t be going to visit them in the foreseeable future.
63. I love pigs and have a collection of pictures and small “objets” that are pig-related.
64. I love bacon sandwiches.
65. I have psychopathic tendencies towards: noisy people, tourists on the tube in rush hour, rude people, groups of teenagers (see noisy people), people who dawdle, “drivers” in supermarket car parks, whingeing children.
66. Other pet hates include menus, posters etc with spelling mistakes and/or grammatical errors.
67. I could not accurately be described as “laid back”.
68. My first kiss was in Raffles nightclub in Southampton, I was something of a late developer at 17.
69. My first concert was Boney M at Portsmouth Guildhall although I was with my mum so that may not count.
70. My first grown up concert was Duran Duran in 1983 at Villa Park.
71. My first football match was Southampton vs. Coventry in 1981. It was a 1-1 draw.
72. I had my first ice cream in Norfolk when I was a year old. A wasp had stung my tongue.
73. My first West End show was Hans Christian Anderson for my fifth birthday. Apparently I stood with my jaw on the floor all the way through and I have had a slightly embarrassing love for Tommy Steele ever since.
74. I learnt to use chopsticks that same night.
75. I know every word to the film “Grease”.
76. I love whisky and have a certificate as a qualified whiskey taster (there is a reason the spelling is different).
77. My favourite colour is purple.
78. It is only recently that I have discovered clothes come in a colour other than black (I blame point 34).
79. I once voted for Ken Livingstone, I still regret this.
80. My best friend from school’s sister is married to a member of the Shadow Cabinet.
81. Fanny Craddock once made me cry.
82. I have met a fair few “famous people”, the nicest one was Phil Vickery.
83. My “free pass” is still John Taylor.
84. I hate celebrity gossip magazines and have never bought a copy of Heat, Hello, Now, OK or any others.
85. My glass is usually half full.
86. I was bullied at school, it wasn’t character-forming, it was horrible.
87. I am part of a 12 step fellowship, it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. It’s some what on hold at the moment because – despite never completing the full 12 steps – I feel much better.
88. My favourite age was 26.
89. The one song guaranteed to get me dancing is…actually I need no excuses to strut my stuff.
90. My husband and I have been known to clear the dance floor with our rather outrageous “dirty dancing”.
91. The first single I ever bought was “Long Haired Lover from Liverpool” by Little Jimmy Osmond – I was pre-school okay.
92. My favourite smells are limes, rosemary and lavender – together these may be a rather horrible combination.
93. Strong perfume brings me out in hives.
94. I am allergic to penicillin, latex and bananas. And Heptatitus A jabs I recently discovered.
95. I am a qualified first aider.
96. Both sets of my grandparents were married for over 60 years.
97. I cannot work out how computer games work: I can only play Tetris and Jawbreaker. I have now added Boom Blox to this list, it’s brilliant. I need to change this one because I am actually getting QUITE good at not very technical games
98. I used to be called “Pebble” when I was little.
99. I love hot baths and wish someone would invent a device so the water didn’t go cold.
100. Who knew…?