Now why haven’t I been blogging recently? There’s been some sort of blockage – bloggage perhaps? Things have been happening, my life has been on its usual undulating journey but I just haven’t felt able to write about any of it.
As usual, there are a lot of things going on with the slightly gnarly relationship I find myself in. I think this is the root of the problem. I am actually too scared to write about my life in case it turns out one way (and I look stupid) or another way (and everyone thinks I’m stupid).
My work contract in theory ends next Wednesday but (again, in theory) I’m going to be made a permanent member of staff (hurrah!). Except that there’s been some really annoying game playing and politics which means they may actually offer me a job that I don’t want. I can’t decide if they’re just being a tad too laid back about it or if there is a more sinister motivation (of the “in this current economic climate she’ll take any job we offer” variety; they seem to have failed to entertain the concept that if they don’t offer me the job I want, I may actually leave). I will find out this week.
So on the horns of such dilemmas, my ability to write/speak about anything has disappeared. All conversations are following a similar pattern:
Featherduster: “So how are you?”
AN Other: “Fine, how are you?”
FD: (Breezily) “All good. So what have YOU been up to?”
ANO: (Fills in details of life…) “… and how about you?”
FD: “Oh same old. Same old, you know working, being busy. The usual. So do tell me about…”
And I then use every blocking, stalling and diversionary tactic to avoid discussing ANYTHING about me. I suspect my friends are finding me entirely poor company.
I am hoping my bloggage will clear up soon…in the mean time I may just have to fall back on some of those tried and tested blog-fillers, yes I’m off to find a good meme.