My body is not coping with the stress of not working. I haven’t been working for less than a week and it’s all gone a bit haywire.
I have two weak spots physically when it comes to stress: my stomach and ye olde insomnia. So I’m washing copious amounts of charcoal tablets down with lashings of peppermint tea (yes it tastes as good as it sounds!) but still feeling hugely nauseous. And the insomnia is the really annoying waking up at 5am type. Although the not being able to go to sleep at night type is grim you can pop some Valerian and give yourself a good talking to…but the early morning type doesn’t respond to herbs or drugs (well not unless you want to be a zombie for the rest of the day) so you have to talk yourself down, do visualisation, meditation or whatever – all of which is quite exhausting but rarely exhausting enough to get you back to sleep until about 15 minutes before you’re meant to get up – grrr.
Hmmm…what can you do? Oh well.
I’m also suffering from opportunity paralysis – there’s so much I could/should be doing but am I doing any of it? Er no. I have indeed been doing precisely what I didn’t want to be doing which is watching far too much daytime TV. I did manage to get my trainers on yesterday and today which is a good thing. I have also completed my tax return (and the taxman owes me cash – hurrah!). But I’m not really doing anything constructive.
So as a result I am quite cross with myself and that’s adding to the stress which is making my stomach poorly and my brain go mad resulting in insomnia – do you think I might be my own worst enemy?