I hate Carphone Warehouse

Yesterday they almost reduced me to tears…

They’d been hounding me to take up a new contract and – as in the long term it saves money – I did. With the contract came a new handset which looked very nice and was generally quite friendly apart from one problem: the function to turn off keypad tones had been disabled. The constant beep beeping was driving me nuts to I went into a store to find out if their technical wizardry could fix the problem; they said take it to a repair centre. I was not keen to take it to a repair centre because there isn’t one close by and my last experience was less than joyful (they kept it for 5 weeks) plus this is a brand new phone. So I phoned ‘customer support’ and they said take it to a nearby branch and they would exchange it for me, allegedly this was written up on my notes. So went into local branch (Bishopsgate – populated by your usual level of unhelpful staff), they checked my notes: nothing. They looked at me as if I was an alien but couldn’t fix the problem so agreed to exchange it. New phone comes back, charge it up, full of excitement…same problem. Turns out all the handsets the Carphone Warehouse had had the function disabled (no doubt off the back of a lorry somewhere).

Phoned up ‘customer support’, they said take it back to the store, went back to the store, they said phone head office. By this point I was losing my sense of humour.

So phoned head office and explained the problem and that’s when I really lost the plot because I was actually not speaking to a human being, I was speaking to a script. Apparently having a basic function disabled on the phone (and that not being flagged up to me during the ‘sales’ process) is perfectly reasonable. I cannot swap it for a different phone because the tariff I was offered was only applicable on that phone. I cannot cancel my contract because I inserted my SIM into the phone (you can’t actually try the phone and its functions out unless you put the SIM in but there you go).

What made it worse was that ‘script man’ would only speak from his script (he actually kept repeating the same phrases as answers to different questions). I asked to speak to a human being but he told me there was noone else I could speak to (do you mean to tell me that the organisation is run by these drones with no senior management who could actually make a decision?). I also tried to send a complaint through their webiste – it froze and wouldn’t submit – ARGH!!!!

So here I am furious and seething and generally quite pissed off. I’m going to try and live with the phone over the weekend and write a stiff letter to Carphone Warehouse.

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