Flip Flap Slap

I hate flip flop wearers. I don’t care that they are the most fashionable footwear you can sport this season, they belong on the beach.

Now don’t get me wrong, I own two perfectly lovely pairs of flip flops and they’re great for pottering around the garden or walking along the seashore. But they should not be worn in London, especially not on the tube.

For a start they are a health hazard as people have a habit of ‘leaving them behind’ as they walk. So the poor sod behind them (usually me), treads on them, nearly trips up, has to apologise etc. Then they make a stupid noise which is just irritating. Thirdly, men should NEVER EVER EVER wear flip flops. Their toes are too hairy, their feet are generally just to gnarly and – because men aren’t used to wearing stupid, impractical footwear on a daily basis – they can’t walk in them.

Finally, don’t flip flop wearers find their feet get filthy? Especially on the tube? It’s just not nice.

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